1. |
Email
02:33
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You had the worst of me then
You’re crumbling at my feet when
I spill my clumsy feelings
All over Peter’s sheets and it
Didn’t stick
I don’t think you’re a dick now
Thoughts compiled
If it’s depression or your smile
I guess I’ll take ya either way
I’ve been thinking about leaving
How people fall asleep when
They turn on their tvs and
You choked when you had me but
We both tried
Did you think I would die?
Heard you when
So much older then
You were younger than I am now
I talk to you through email
I tell you every detail
It’s not that I am lonely
I guess it’s like you told me
We both tried
It’s never the right time
We could be happy
Or who we used to be
I guess I’ll take ya either way
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2. |
Watch TV
03:05
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I could eat with you all day
I feel empty when you drive away
I'm running out of things to do
Things to keep myself from missing you
So I'll go out and find a job
I'd rather not be where you're not
Won't you take care of me?
I'll let you watch me while I sleep
And I know love is never easy
I love my dad but he stopped calling me
I know it sometimes helps to talk
I'd see my therapist but she blew me off
So I'll just wait a little while
Till I stop acting like a child
Do you wanna visit me?
I'll let you watch me brush my teeth
When you wake up you look at me
And I see things as how they used to be
And how you're different than before
But I don't think about that anymore
And you just think I'm acting strange
Cuz we're both scared of how things change
Will you still take care of me?
We can stay home and watch tv
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3. |
Hail Mary
02:21
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Hail Mary, I left the bathroom light on again
Head’s aching, I pulled the shade down from the window
I ask you a million questions you won’t answer
You caught me, I only love you when I wanna
And I ascend at night when I am watching tv
Comprehend the messages you’re sending to me
To make some friends
Well I did but I fucked up again
You hang around my neck while I am sleeping
Blood brothers I concentrate on how you see me
Bruised up with a thirteen-year-old’s reservations
I grew up and now they’re saying that you hate me
And I deny the lightness and the ties that bind us
You’re a giant whose whole life was always decided
By a man who says my mama’s going to hell
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4. |
Heartburn
01:50
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I’ve got bad heartburn
You pick my ashes off of the ground
Read my last wishes
I have you spread them all over town
I didn’t mean them
Those things that I told you when I was down
I knock on your window
To tell you I’m sorry but you’re not around
And when my heartburns, it burns yours right down
I can’t stop crying
I make everybody uncomfortable
I cry you a puddle
To make you step over and make you feel cold
I couldn’t help it
You tell me I’m selfish, I already know
So I wouldn’t blame you
It’s alright if you want me to go
And when my heartburns, it burns yours right down
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5. |
Scabs
03:17
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You’re one to talk now
Picking the tops off all the flowers that you
Found when you got honest
Painful and glowing like an omen, oh man
I’m getting restless
Picking the scab before it’s ready and I’ll
Keep it in my pocket
I can’t bear to part with it, it’s part of me and
You and I tried
I’m not right but I’m working up to it
Paint me a different
Shade of this longing to be someone else who
Thinks less of people
Leaving the plans they make, the skin they break
Behind in the backs of their minds
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6. |
||||
When things aren’t lining up:
I missed the middle.
I’m sorry I fell asleep on your chest and missed the middle.
Am I scaring you?
Am I crushing you?
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7. |
Perspective
03:16
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Creep around the internet
And you’ll write my name on a cassette
Watch me, I can pay attention too
Leaving never meant a thing to you
Now you’re standing in my bathroom
I tried but I couldn’t move
Didn’t leave the house today
Cuz we accidentally slept all day
Teeth are shifting backwards, eyes aren’t what they used to be
You can spell it out but I can’t read a goddamn thing
And you were standing close to me
I tried but I couldn’t speak
So you’ll go to where it’s warmer
It won’t mean anything
Can you tell now
When I’m not listening?
I wanted you to grab a hold of me
Crying on the plane cuz you can’t remember who you are
Put it in perspective, Thailand isn’t all that far
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8. |
Stay Inside
03:13
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Take the heart the empty space
The plans we broke after we made
The house is in a different shape
And I can’t figure out why you didn’t wait
Remember all the time that flew
When you got tired, I carried you
Then we got so much older
How I made you stay inside and wait around
Cuz I thought we had time
And then the snow starts coming down
The last day of October
Found out why I kept on coming home
You were never one to tell me so
And now I’m calling home again
To check in on the body count
Remember all the closed up doors
Your face the day we threw you out
Cuz I thought we had time
You were doing fine
I thought we had time
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9. |
Hi How Are You
02:10
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You ask me how I’m doing now
That I’ve got nothing figured out
can we make up for all this time
When nothing’s changed except our lives?
And I realize
This is real life
And I can’t wait for you all
And I’ve got lots of things to do
But I don’t wanna leave my room
And I’m not getting enough rest
Cuz I can’t stop watching Top Chef
And I’ve got
Enough time
But I can’t make myself move
And I think our two names sound good
In any order, as they should
And on the coldest days I’ve found
Something that’s warm when you’re around
And it’s been
A long time
And I hope you get out soon too
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10. |
Spent
01:57
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I’ve been driving for hours
I guess that’s how it goes
Thought I was getting better
But lately I don’t know
Taking the weekend for granted
I fall asleep in your lap on the drive home
Found you on a different planet
I’ll drive until I find my way back home
My car’s covered in pollen
Everyone’s passing me
I’m sick from feeling small and
You kiss the back of my knee
Forty minutes on the parkway
Three hours four tolls apart
Walking down your street at nighttime
I think you can see in the dark
I’m sick of hitting traffic
I’m sick of paying for gas
I’m tired and my butt hurts
I think you’d say I’m spent
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11. |
After All
03:45
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It’s not too late, I know why you are calling
I can take it now and walk home without falling
And put my head down like I’ve had too much screentime
Will you forgive yourself for putting everybody on edge?
In the mail I receive a box of flowers
So I can watch them die and dry up in the winter
And just the same I will shove you in the corner
So I can keep you there and look at you whenever I want
And I’m trying to let myself be happy
But I keep picturing all of my friends dying
You can tell me you’ll see me in the morning
And I’ll believe you but it doesn’t make it feel less bad
And all the dirt in the backyard, the leaves that fall and cover you
And the water that’s lapping beneath you as you fall asleep
And the back porch where they found you outside yourself I’m wondering
And I don’t know but the pope says that all dogs go to heaven after all
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12. |
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
02:24
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I’m standing at my front door tryna fit the key into the lock in the dark
And I’m not getting any closer
Not getting any closer to figuring out what went wrong
I’m stuck in my head.
You wore different socks today, it’s the one thing I thought would never change
And if you’re not sleeping over
If you’re not sleeping over then nothing really stays the same
I’m stuck in my head.
And I’m coming around but I’ve always been a little bit slower than everyone else
And am I getting any closer?
Not getting any closer to figuring out why you’re sad
I’m stuck in my head
Was it something I said?
I won’t say it again.
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